Mail Order Bride Scam: All You Wanted To Know

In 2024, people from all over the world lost $1.14 billion to romance scammers, and the median reported loss was $2,000. Romance scam is one of the biggest scam types by amount lost, and if you’re interested in mail order brides, you just have to read this guide. Here, we’ll tell you everything.

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Signs of scam

So, first of all, let’s see what the most obvious red flags you need to be aware of are. There are 4 of them:

Fake profiles. If they have photos that are obviously fake or AI-generated, if they have photos that can be found on Google or on other dating apps, it’s certainly a red flag.
Moving too fast. Scammers do not want to waste time. For most of them, spending too much time on one potential victim makes no sense—typically, from our experience, they say they love you or want to get married right away, sometimes it takes 1-2 days. Such a lovebombing is never a good sign on a dating app.
They ask you for money. Sometimes, they tell sad stories about their family members and medical bills, sometimes they talk about visa fees, and sometimes they use brand new methods, like telling you that you need to buy cryptocurrency on a website they send you. It doesn’t matter—if it’s about your money, it’s always a red flag.
They are rushing. It’s not the same as the Red Flag #1 on the list—that one was about the relationships moving too fast. This one is about creating the feeling of an emergency. They offer you to invest and you need to do it right now, in 5 minutes, the opportunity will disappear. Or, say, they want money for medical bills, and if you don’t send it right now… You’ve got the idea. They create an emergency to prevent the victims from thinking twice.

Now, let’s talk about the types of scams.

Types of scam on MOB platforms

In most cases, they want you to send them money right now. But it’s not the only type of scam you need to be aware of.

Fake profiles

If a woman uses her real photo and name to ask you for money, she’s a gold-digger, not a scammer.

Scammers, in turn, always use fake profiles. How?

They use fake photos. Sometimes these photos can be found with Google Image Search, sometimes they can’t, sometimes they are generated by AI, and it’s easy to spot, and sometimes they are generated by AI, and it’s impossible to spot. These cases have in common that the accounts are always fake: if a dating site has an ID verification system, scammers would never verify their profiles by ID.
Using these fake profiles, they start to act like real mail order brides. They gain trust, they say “I love you and I want to meet you”, they might even send photos—all that in order to make a victim think that he’s just found true love.
And then, they strike. They may ask you for money or send you a website where you’ll have to enter your credit card number; it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you will lose your money in the 1st case and you’ll lose access to your credit card in the 2nd case, which is probably even worse. If you give them the information, they may try to buy something expensive with your credit card and reroute the delivery to their address.

If it’s a pro scammer and you tell them too much information, they may try to take out loans in your name or even empty your bank account, and that’s surely not what you want to happen.

Blackmailing

It’s very simple: you send them photos, and these photos are, well, not necessarily nudes, they are just the photos you wouldn’t like anyone else to see. If they are NSFW or if it’s a whole NSFW video, the chances of getting blackmailed are increasing drastically.

So after sending a video or a photo, you get a message saying that if you don’t send them 1 bitcoin, they’ll send it to all your colleagues, friends, and family members. Then, there are three possible options:

You pay them and they disappear for some time, but then, they return
You pay them and they disappear forever (which is pretty unlikely, to be honest)
You don’t pay them and they carry out their threat

As you see, there are no good options here.

How to avoid getting scammed

Be extra careful of what you share. Financial information is not meant to be shared with strangers. Your NSFW photos… Well, it’s up to you, of course. Just remember that the minute you send a sexually intimate photo a video, your chances of getting blackmailed skyrocket. The best thing you can do is not send anything that can be used to blackmail you, but if it’s impossible, at least don’t show your face.
Never send money to strangers you’ve met online. It’s very simple: it’s always a red flag and it’s never a real mail order bride if “she” asks you for money.
Do not click on the links they send to you. If you still click on one of those links, do NOT enter your credit card number there.
Choose only the best dating apps with real mail order brides. The process of finding such a site could take a lot of time, yes, but it’s very important. Good, trusted dating apps usually have an ID verification service, and the chances of meeting a scammer there are close to 0.
If there’s ID verification on a dating site, chat only with ID-verified accounts.

What to do if you’ve been scammed

First, you must report the scam to the website support team. Then, report it to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov). Then you can do the following:

If you paid with your credit card, contact your bank and tell them it was a fraud.
If you see unauthorized transfers or purchases from your bank account/credit card, contact the bank immediately, tell them about a scam, and ask them to give your money back.
If you paid with crypto, well, we’re sorry, there’s nothing you can do. Still, contacting the company might be a good idea—maybe they’ll do something with the scammer’s wallet.
If you gave a scammer your SSN, go to IdentityTheft.gov immediately.
If you’re blackmailed, report it, cut communications, and report it to the police.

Or… you can also pay. Yes, we always say that the best thing a victim can do is cut the communication and not pay anyone, but this means that the scammers will most likely send that photo or video to colleagues and friends of the victim. So in such a tough situation, it’s your decision to make.

Travis Smith

Editor-in-Chief

Travis Smith is a communication coach specializing in couple therapy. He has a lot of experience working with couples, including couples from different social and cultural environments. Travis believes that, in some cases, it’s even easier for intercultural spouses to find common ground and turn their differences into their main strength.

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Mail Order Bride Scam: What to Know And How to Avoid